By all means!

Noman H Malik

You are a FAILURE! You embarrassed me in front of everyone. You can’t imagine what I went through when your teacher showed your report card!” Faizan’s mother exclaimed at him because the 14-year-old had failed in the final examination.

His parents, in fact the whole family, were depressed because of Faizan’s so-called ‘sin’. They, like the society at large, think that failing, particularly in an examination, is a ‘sin’. The reaction of his parents, siblings, teachers and even friends made Faizan confused and depressed.

Looking around us we see many cases where people feel so dejected after failing at something that they end up taking an extreme and stupid step that they may regret later. But scolding, thrashing and punishing are not the right ways to treat such a person. A failure should be treated, not in a harsh way, but in a consoling and tender way. 

 Those who think their entire life is ruined because they failed to do something properly need proper guidance and support. Having failed once does not mean one will always fail, or even failing repeatedly at something doesn’t not mean that one is not good at anything else.

The fear of failure is the greatest obstacle on the road of success. If you are scared that you will fail at something, you will end up either not trying at all or putting in a half-hearted attempt.

The first thing that should be kept in mind before attempting anything is that failure isn’t a crime. Failure is merely a stepping-stone to success. Everyone fails at something or the other, at some point in life. We should not take failure to heart but learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them.

Treat failures as learning experiences that should turn you into a better person as you can now identify your mistakes and shortcomings. Once you know why you failed, you should find ways that can make you succeed the next time. Stay positive and keep trying until you succeed. Remember when a baby takes his first steps, he falls — but he gets up again and keeps trying until success is achieved.

We can also learn from the life of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States who led the nation through its greatest internal crisis, the American Civil War. After failing as a businessman, he moved on to politics but failed in his initial attempt to become a member of the Illinois General Assembly. He then studied law and became a lawyer.

He returned to the political arena and, in 1855, he ran for the Senate but was defeated again. The next year Lincoln went after the vice-presidency position but was defeated. This didn’t deter him and, finally in 1960, he became the president. He had a taste of failure initially which made him more determined to become successful.

Many people feel depressed when they fail to achieve something that is important to them. But failure is a learning tool. Always accept failures positively because they help you gain confidence.

We all know about Thomas Edison, the renowned inventor. Edison also failed many times before he finally became successful in inventing the light bulb. Did he stop trying? No he didn’t. If Edison had stopped trying, the world would be pretty dark right now.

And there is the shinning example of everyone’s favourite author J. K. Rowling. About 12 publishers rejected Rowling’s first manuscript of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stones. But today, according to Forbes Magazine, she is the first billionaire author in the world.

Failing 12 times in a row would get anyone down but she didn’t stop and finally got a green signal from Bloomsbury, a small British publishing house in London for the publication of her first book. And now Rowling is ranked 14th in Telegraph’s list for 2008’s “100 most powerful people in British culture”. Isn’t it exciting?

If you always cry over the mistakes that you made, you will never get anywhere in life. So there’s no use crying over spilt milk. If you want to live life to the fullest, your plan of action should be target-oriented.

A confident individual always looks forward and keeps his/her eyes on the target/destination. They consider failures as part of their journey towards success. And positive thinking is the best way to get out of the gloominess of failure. 

They Speak....

Failure Success

Failing a venture does not make you a loser. Here a few youngsters talk about failure and how they deal with it 

“Failure can trigger success. If you fail, you question yourself and then you struggle to excel in that area. This helps in progress. Failure is good, only if it doesn’t become a habit.” — Asma Siddiqui

 

“Failure may sound like an easy thing to deal with, but it can leave permanent scars on a person psychologically. Not everybody can face it. At times when those who fail do not get the support they need from their family and friends, and get scolded, thrashed and even disgraced for this ‘so-called’ sin. 

But as Robert F. Kennedy said, ‘Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly’. We should keep this in mind.” — Zeeshan Ahmed

“When I was 17, I failed my math exam during my first year at college. I simply hate trigonometry and this mishap posed a major setback to me. But due to the caring and loving behaviour of my family, specially my elder sister, I somehow learnt to deal with the situation and finally cleared the examination in the next attempt.” — Furrukh Azeem 

“I was very depressed when my application was rejected for a scholarship programme. For a moment I thought I will never re-apply for it but my teacher was of great help. He supported me and made me realise the importance of failure in life. I still remember his words, ‘Don’t you know that in a race everyone runs but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize, but if you fail, do your best next time. Everyone who competes can’t win.’ 

I studied hard and in the next semester I not only got my university scholarship but I also secured first position in my class.” — Ali Ahmed

“I was jobless for about two months after my bachelors. I did my BBA from a reputable institute with a good GPA. I applied for every single opportunity that was available at the time and was more than sure about getting my desired job. But with the passage of time my confidence decreased and and I became very depressed. This was a tough period for me — both financially and mentally. But I took this phase as a learning experience and changed my job hunting strategy. Soon, I got an excellent job with good remuneration. Now I am pursuing my masters along with my job.” — Saima Shah